I DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP LAST NIGHT

I didn't get any sleep last night.
The notion of eating disgusts me.
It's clear that my brain isn't working quite right,
But, then again, why would it be?

My heart is a muscle I can't relax.
It takes up too much space in my chest.
There's no room for breathing so my lungs just go slack.
Man, isn't depression the best?

At least this time I'm a functional nut.
At least I'm getting my work done.
At least that's one thing to be grateful for but
It's hardly what I would call fun.

Hats off to me and my success!
I'm too old now to expect any less.

I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

I don’t live here anymore.
The wooden box with the green velvet lining is empty –
I wonder what you’ll use it for,

whose trinkets you’ll someday store
in place of my costume jewelry.
I don’t live here anymore.

And the drum I bought you, though I was poor –
you never played it for me.
I wonder what you’ll use it for.

You’ll collect my hairs when you sweep the bedroom floor
and toss them, along with all our history.
I don’t live here anymore.

You’ll loan my makeup remover wipes to some drunk whore,
though you promised only I could go barefaced here.
I wonder what you’ll use her for.

You have no use for me anymore,
just for the right side of the bed’s vacancy.
I don’t live here anymore.
I wonder what you used me for.

OH, NUTS

Oh, nuts (honey roasted)
the Pakistani man sells
from a cart on Forty-ninth and Broadway,
my nose cannot resist your fragrant scent.

To eat you is nothing but disappointment.

THERE ARE NO EAGLES OR MOUNTAINS

The weight or a weapon – which is it?
Love Can Move Mountains but Love is
dirty and heavy and comes
with complications not covered in
Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong.

There are no eagles or mountains
in Love.

There are soft, unwashed bodies draped haphazardly
in flannel sheets whispering bitter
somethings in harsh consonants and lazy,
drawn out syllables and they are just
words that sound important but mean
less than a quiet kiss given out of Guilt.

Guilt is heavy.
Guilt is a weight.
Guilt is the weapon you use
to encourage Love.